My Fair Lady auditions will be open for bookings after the information night on March 26th.
Sunday 31st of March
10.00 am – 5.00 pm
Tuesday 2nd of April
7.30 pm – 9.30 pm
Contact Brendan Croft
M: 0428 894 914
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY WELL IN ADVANCE TO YOUR AUDITION!
All cast will be required to make a commitment to the show and be available for all rehearsals, and obviously for the show dates.
Audition forms will be available to fill in before your audition.
Rehearsals are held Monday and Wednesday nights. Closer to the show there will also be Sunday rehearsals. Rehearsals will begin early-mid April.
From the last Sunday in July we will begin set building and we would like all the help we can get from cast and friends.
Sept 6th, 7th, 8th, 13th, 14th and 15th
Dialogue and Script Excerpts for the lead and feature roles are below.
Two men have been waiting for their cabs at rainy night. Eliza Doolittle was selling flowers on the street under this rain. She came from the lower strata of society, which was clearly audible in her voice. A passing-by man splashed mud on her violets, and the saleswoman answered with vituperation. Eliza calmed down only when an elderly gentleman bought from her a bouquet. Suddenly she heard rudeness – another man addressed to her, using her own style of speech. Explaining that he is studying phonetics, the gentleman began to complain about the horrible slang of flowers-seller. He said that could in 6 months transform Eliza into a lady, teaching her the correct pronunciation. An elderly gentleman introduced himself. His name was Colonel Pickering – he studied Indian dialects. The fond in phonetics man named himself as Mr. Higgins. Both of them had heard about each other, so were glad to meet. Professor Higgins invited the colonel to stay in his house.
When they were discussing vowels, the housekeeper entered. She said that the woman came with a terrible accent to the owner. It was Eliza. Flower person wanted to take pronunciation lessons to get a job in a florist shop. Pickering made a bet with Higgins – he pays for classes, and the man prepares a woman for visit of the embassy’s ball, where no one had to guess about the origin of Eliza. Agreed, Professor entrusted care of the flower girl to his housekeeper. In the morning, Eliza’s father went to Higgins. He said that living next to a man threatens the honor of his daughter. The professor was shocked by the lack of moral principles in her father – after receiving 5 pounds, he allowed his daughter to stay in someone else’s house. Higgins flippantly recommended this man to American millionaire, who was looking for an object of lectures on moral principles.
Education was not happy for Eliza – she was tired of repeating phrases that were supposed to make her speech better. But soon she was able to pronounce one sentence perfectly. All were very happy about this. After a while, Eliza had perfect pronunciation. The first coming out was decided to carry out on the hippodrome. Higgins persuaded the mother to take the girl in her seat and to talk to her about the weather and the health of others. Speaking in slang, Eliza spoiled the positive impression made on visitors of the races. But she managed to win the heart of Freddy – the young man wanted to meet with a girl, but the flower girl did not want to communicate with him – it was him who splashed mud on her violets.
The day of the embassy ball arrived. Nobody suspected Eliza in ignoble origins. The surrounding ones were delighted with the manners of a girl and only a professor continued to treat her as an experiment. After the ball, upset Eliza told to a man all she thought about him. After leaving his house, she faced with Freddy. Refusing to listen to the boy, the girl went with him to her father and old friends. They did not recognize Eliza in her new gown and with her manners and speech. Father received a bequeathing from an American millionaire of 4000 pounds and now was going to marry his female partner. Realizing that she no longer belongs to this circle, she left them.
The professor was angry about the behavior of a girl. Higgins said that he was glad Eliza walked away, but he has already started to miss the florist. The man put in a phonograph the record made during his first lesson with a girl. He heard own harsh words towards Eliza. Realizing the truth of florist, the man was sure that she would never return to him. Suddenly in the house of Higgins, slang speech sounded again. Eliza stood in the doorway and saw the professor’s reaction to the record. She decided to return to Higgins, of which he was very happy.
There will be accents required for all characters. Neutral or upper class English and lower class and Cockney for commoners. Eliza will need to handle multiple English accents as the show progresses.
Eliza Doolittle: A cockney flower girl from Lisson Grove, Eliza works outside Covent Garden. Her potential to become “a lady” becomes the object of a bet between Higgins and Pickering.
18 to early 20s • Voice – soprano • A flower girl. Is required to transform from cockney to a well-spoken lady • Must be able to move/dance
Henry Higgins: A British, upper class professional bachelor, Higgins is a world-famous phonetics expert, teacher, and author of “Higgins’ Universal Alphabet.”
mid 30s to 40s • Voice – tenor • As a world-famous phonetics expert he must speak very eloquently. At first bullish, but has a softer side! • Must be able to move and dance (a bit!)
Colonel Pickering: A retired British officer with colonial experience, Pickering is the author of “Spoken Sanskrit.”
50s to 60s • Voice – tenor/baritone • A retired British officer. A real gent! • Must be able to move
Alfred P. Doolittle: Eliza’s father, Doolittle is an elderly but vigorous dustman.
40s to 50s • Voice – bass/baritone • Eliza’s dad. A jovial cockney dustman • Must be able to move/dance
Freddy Eynsford-Hill: An upper class young man, Freddy becomes completely smitten with Eliza.
20s to 30s • Voice – tenor • An upper class young man, rather besotted with Eliza • Must be able to move/dance
Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: A friend of Mrs. Higgins, Mrs. Eynsford-Hill is Freddy’s mother.
Mrs. Higgins: Henry’s long-suffering mother.
60s to 70s • Non-singing • Higgins’ mother
Bartender: George works the Tottenham Court Road Pub.
Harry: Drinking companion of Alfred Doolittle.
Jamie: Drinking companion of Alfred Doolittle.
Mrs. Pearce: Henry Higgins’ housekeeper.
40s to 60s • Voice – soprano/alto • Higgins’ housekeeper • Must be able to move
Mrs. Hopkins: A cockney woman of Tottenham Court.
Prof. Zoltan Karpathy: A bearded Hungarian, Karpathy is a former phonetics student of Henry Higgins who fancies himself impossible to dupe when it comes to identifying the origin of anyone’s speech patterns.
30s • Non-singing • A Hungarian phonetics professor; a former student of Higgins. Must have a Hungarian accent! • Must be able to move/dance
First Cockney, Second Cockney, Third Cockney, Fourth Cockney: Four men who form a Cockney quartet.
Butler: Henry Higgins’s household employee.
Footman: Henry Higgins’s household employee.
Lord Boxington: A friend of Mrs. Higgins, Boxington is an Ascot race patron.
Lady Boxington: The wife of Lord Boxington.
Footman: An embassy employee
Selsey Man: A bystander outside Covent Garden
Various Servants, Maids, Stewards, Etc.
“Overture” – The Orchestra
“Busker Sequence” – The Orchestra
“Why Can’t the English?” – Professor Higgins
“Wouldn’t It Be Lovely?” – Eliza and Male Quartet
“With a Little Bit of Luck” – Alfred Doolittle, Harry, Jamie and Company
“I’m an Ordinary Man” – Professor Higgins
“With a Little Bit of Luck (Reprise)” – Alfred Doolittle and Ensemble
“Just You Wait” – Eliza
“The Servants’ Chorus (Poor Professor Higgins)” – Mrs. Pearce and Servants
“The Rain in Spain” – Professor Higgins, Eliza, and Colonel Pickering
“I Could Have Danced All Night” – Eliza, Mrs. Pearce, and Servants
“Ascot Gavotte” – Ensemble
“On the Street Where You Live” – Freddy
“Eliza’s Entrance/Embassy Waltz” – The Orchestra
“You Did It” – Colonel Pickering, Professor Higgins, Mrs. Pearce, and Servants
“Just You Wait (Reprise)” – Eliza
“On the Street Where You Live (Reprise)” – Freddy
“Show Me” – Freddy, then Eliza
“The Flower Market/Wouldn’t It Be Loverly? (Reprise)” – Eliza and Male Quartet
“Get Me to the Church on Time” – Alfred Doolittle and Ensemble
“A Hymn to Him” – Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering
“Without You” – Eliza and Professor Higgins
“I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face” – Professor Higgins
“I Could Have Danced All Night (Reprise) / Finale” – The Orchestra
ELIZA monologue 1 – Cockney Dialect
Eliza: I ain’t done nothin’ wrong by speakin’ to the gentleman. I’ve a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. I’m a respectable girl, so help me, I never spoke to him except to ask him to buy a flower off me. Oh sir, don’t let him charge me. You dunno what it means to me. ey’ll take away my character and drive me on the streets for speakin’ to gentlemen. It’s because I called him Captain. I meant no harm. Oh, sir, don’t let him lay a charge agen me for a word like that. I’m a good girl, I am. Let him mind his own business and leave a poor girl alone. I’ve a right to be here if I like, same as you.
ELIZA monologue 2 – Cockney Dialect
Eliza: I’ve come to have lessons, I have. And to pay for them too, make no mistake. If you were a gentleman, you might ask me to sit down, I think. Don’t I tell you I’m bringing you business? I want to be a lady in a flower shop instead if sellin’ flowers at the corner of Tottenham Court Road. But them won’t take me unless I can talk more genteel. You said you could teach me. Well, here I am ready to pay, not askin’ any favour, and you treat me as if I was dirt. I know what lessons cost, and I’m ready to pay. I know what’s right. A lady friend of mine gets French lessons for heighteenpence an hour from a real French gentleman. Well, you wouldn’t have the face to ask me the same for teaching me my own language as you would for French; so I won’t give more than a shilling. Take it or leave it.
ELIZA monologue 3 – British Dialect
Eliza: Good afternoon, Professor Higgins [she sits]
Mrs Higgins: Will it rain do you think?
Eliza: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain. But in Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen. What are you sniggering at, young man? I bet I got it right.
Mrs Higgins: I do hope we won’t have any unseasonably cold spells. It brings on so much influenza, and our whole family is susceptible to it.
Eliza: My aunt died of influenza, so they said. But it’s my belief they done the old woman in. Why should she die of influenza when she come through diphtheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead; but my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she came to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon. Now, what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza, and what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? Somebody pinched it; and what I say is, them as pinched it, done her in!
ELIZA monologue 4 – British Dialect
Eliza: I should never have known how ladies and gentlemen behave if it hadn’t been for Colonel Pickering. He always showed me that he felt and thought about me as if I were something better than a common flower girl. You see, Mrs Higgins, apart from the things one can pick up, the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated. I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins because he always treats me as a flower girl and always will. But I know that I shall always be a lady to Colonel Pickering because he always treats me as a lady, and always will.
HIGGINS MONOLOGUE 1 – BRITISH DIALECT
Simple phonetics. The science of speech. That’s my profession, also my hobby. Anyone can spot an Irishman or a Yorkshireman by his brogue. I can place a man within six miles; I can place him within two miles in London. Sometimes within two streets. [To Eliza] A woman who utters such depressing and disgusting noises has no right to be anywhere – no right to live. Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech. [To Pickering] You see this creature with her curb-stone English; the English that will keep her in the gutter to the ends of her days? Well, sir, in six months I could pass her off as a duchess at the Embassy Ball. I could even get her a place as a lady’s maid or shop assistant, which requires better English.
HIGGINS MONOLOGUE 2 – BRITISH DIALECT
Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist’s shop. If you’re good and do what you’re told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom and have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis. If you’re naughty and idle you will sleep in the back kitchen among the black beetles and be walloped by Mrs Pearce with a broomstick. At the end of six months you shall go to Buckingham Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out you’re not a lady, you will be taken by the police to the Tower of London where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls. If you are not found out, you shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a shop. If you refuse this offer you will be the most ungrateful, wicked girl and the angels will weep for you.
Colonel Pickering and Henry Higgins
HIGGINS Yes, you squashed cabbage leaf, you disgrace to the noble architecture of these columns, you incarnate insult to the English language; I could pass you off as the Queen of Sheba. PICKERING (Interested in Higgins, but more so in finding a taxi, thinks he sees one and moves quickly to hail it) Taxi!
ELIZA Aooow! (To PICKERING) You don’t believe that, Cap-tain?
PICKERING Taxi! (He loses the cab and comes back) Oh, well, any-thing is possible. I myself am a student of Indian dialects.
HIGGINS (Eagerly) Are you? Do you know Colonel Pickering, the author of Spoken Sanskrit?
PICKERING I am Colonel Pickering. Who are you?
HIGGINS Henry Higgins, author of Higgins’ Universal Alphabet.
PICKERING (Amazed) I came from India to meet you!
HIGGINS (With enthusiasm) I was going to India to meet you!
PICKERING (Extending his hand) Higgins!
HIGGINS (Extending his) Pickering! (They shake hands) Where are you staying?
PICKERING At the Carleton.
HIGGINS No, you’re not. You’re staying at 27-A Wimpole Street. Come with me and we’ll have a jaw over supper. •
PICKERING Right you are.
PICKERING Higgins, forgive the bluntness, but if I’m to be in this business, I shall feel responsible for the girl. I hope it’s clearly understood that no advantage is to be taken of her position. HIGGINS What? That thing? Sacred, I assure you.
PICKERING (Gravely) Now come, Higgins, you know what I mean! This is no trifling matter! Are you a man of good char-acter where women are concerned?
HIGGINS Have you ever met a man of good character where women were concerned?
PICKERING Yes. Very frequently.
MRS. PEARCE (Sternly) Mr. Higgins, you simply cannot go on work-ing the girl this way. Making her say her alphabet over and over, from sunup to sundown, even during meals-when will it stop?
HIGGINS (Detached but still logical) When she does it properly, of course. Is that all, Mrs. Pearce?
MRS. PEARCE No, sir. The mail.
HIGGINS Pay the bills and say no to the invitations.
MRS. PEARCE There’s another letter from that American millionaire, Ezra D. Wallingford. He still wants you to lecture for his Moral Reform League.
HIGGINS Throw it away.
MRS. PEARCE (Not to be put off) It’s the third letter he’s written you, sir. You should at least answer it.
HIGGINS (Anything for peace) Oh, all right. Leave it on the desk. I’ll get to it.
DOOLITTLE Morning, Governor. I come about a very serious matter, Governor.
HIGGINS (To PICKERING) Born in HoundsIow, mother Welsh! (To DOOLITTLE) What do you want, Doolittle?
DOOLITTLE (Menacingly) I want my daughter. That’s what I want. See?
HIGGINS Of course you do. You’re her father, aren’t you? I’m glad to see you have some spark of family feeling left. She’s upstairs, here. Take her away at once.
DOOLITTLE (Fearfully taken aback) What??I!
HIGGINS Take her away. Do you suppose I’m going to keep your daughter for you?
DOOLITTLE (Remonstrating) Now, now, look here, Governor. Is this reasonable? Is it fairity to take advantage of a man like this? The girl belongs to me. You got her. Where do I come in? HIGGINS (Charging down the stairs) How dare you come here and attempt to blackmail me? You sent her here OR purpose.
DOOLITTLE (Protesting) Now don’t take a man up like that, Gov-ernor.
HIGGINS The police shall take you up. This is a plant-a plot to extort money by threats. I shall telephone the police. (He goes resolutely to the telephone on the desk)
DOOLITTLE Have I asked you for a brass farthing? I leave it to this gentleman here. (To PICKERING) Have I said a word about money?
HIGGINS What else did you come for?
DOOLITTLE (Sweetly) Well, what would a man come for? Be human, Governor. (He wheezes genially in HIGGINS’ face and rocks him back several paces)
HIGGINS (Recovering) Alfred, you sent her here on purpose?
DOOLITTLE SO help m~, Governor, I never did. HIGGINS Then how did you know she was here?
DOOLITTLE I’ll tell ya, Governor, if you’ll only let me get a word in. I’m willing to tell ya. I’m wanting to tell ya. I’m waiting to tell ya.
HIGGINS Pickering, this chap has a certain natural gift of rhet-oric. Observe the rhythm of his native woodnotes wild: “I’m willing to tell you; I’m wanting to tell you; I’m waiting to tell you.” That’s the Welsh strain in him. (To DOOLITTLE) How did you know Eliza was here if you didn’t send her?
DOOLITTLE She sent back for her luggage, and I got to hear about it. She said she didn’t want no clothes. What was I to think from that, Governor. I ask you as a parent, what was I to think? HIGGINS SO you came to rescue her from worse than death, eh?
DOOLITTLE (Relieved at being so well understood) Just so, Gov-ernor. That’s right.
HIGGINS Mrs. Pearce, Eliza’s father has come to take her away. Give her to him.
DOOLITTLE (Desperately) Now wait a minute, Governor, wait a minute. You and me is men of the world, ain’t we?
HIGGINS Oh! Men of the world, are we? You’d better go, Mrs. Pearce.
MRS. PEARCE I think so indeed, sir! (She goes with dignity)
DOOLITTLE Governor, I’ve taken a sort of fancy to you. (Again he wheezes in HIGGINS’ face, causing the latter almost to lose balance) And if you want the girl I’m not so set on havin’ her back home again, but what I might be open to is an arrangement. All I ask is my rights as a father; and you’re the last man alive to expect me to let her go for nothing; for I can see you’re one of the straight sort, Governor. Well, what’s a five-pound note to you? And what’s Eliza to me?
PICKERING I think you ought to know, Doolittle, that Mr. Higgins’ intentions are entirely honorable.
DOOLITTLE (To PICKERING) Of course they are, Governor. If I thought they wasn’t, I’d ask fifty.
HIGGINS (Revolted) Do you mean to say that you would sell your daughter for fifty pounds?
PICKERING Have you no morals, man?
DOOLITTLE (Frankly) No! I can’t afford ’em, Governor. Neither could you if you was as poor as me. Not that I mean any harm, mind ya … but … if Eliza is going to get a bit out of this, why not me, too? Eh? Look at it my way. What am I? I ask ya, what am I? I’m one of the undeserving poor, that’s what I am. Think what that means to a man. It means he’s up agenst middle-class morality for all the time. If there’s anything going and I put in for a bit of it, it’s always the same story: you’re undeserving, so you can’t have it. But my needs is as great as the most deserving widow’s that ever got money out of six different charities in one week for the death of the same husband. I don’t need less than a deserving man, I need more. I don’t eat less hearty than he does, and I drink a lot more. I’m playing straight with you. I ain’t pretending to be deserving. I’m unde-serving, and I mean to go on being undeserving. I like it, and that’s the truth. But will you take advantage of a man’s nature to do him out of the price of his own daughter what he’s brought up, fed and clothed by the sweat of his brow, till she’s growed big enough to be interesting to you two gentlemen? Is five pounds un-reasonabl~? I put it to you, and I leave it to you.
HIGGINS You know, Pickering, if we were to take this man in hand for three months, he could choose between a seat in the Cabinet and a popular pulpit in Wales. I suppose we ought to give him a fiver?
PICKERING He’ll make bad use of it, I’m afraid.
DOOLITTLE Not me, so help me, Governor, I won’t. Just one good spree for myself and the missus, givin’ pleasure to our-selves and employment to others, and satisfaction to you to know it ain’t been throwed away. You couldn’t spend it better.
HIGGINS This is irresistible. Let’s give him ten. (He goes to his desk for his wallet)
DOOLITTLE No! The missus wouldn’t have the heart to spend ten, Governor; ten pounds is a lot of money: it makes a man feel prudent-like; and then goodbye to happiness. No, you give me what I ask for, Governor: not a penny less, not a penny more.
Mrs. Eynsford Hill
MRS. EYNSFORD-HILL (To ELIZA, horrified): You surely don’t believe your aunt was killed?
ELIZA: Do I not! Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat. MRS. EYNSFORD-HILL: But it can’t have been right for your father to pour spirits down her throat like that. It might have killed her. ELIZA: Not her. Gin was mother’s milk to her.
Freddy Eynsford Hill
FREDDY: Officer, I know this is Wimpole Street, but could you tell me where 27-A is?
POLICEMAN (Indicating HIGGINS’ house) Right there, sir.
FREDDY Thank you. (The CONSTABLE strolls on.
FREDDY Are those for sale?
FLOWER GIRL Yes, sir. A shilling. (FREDDY takes a shilling from his pocket-his last-and gives it to the FLOWER GIRL in exchange for a small nosegay)
FLOWER GIRL Thank you kindly, sir.
FREDDY (With radiant good spirits) Isn’t it a heavenly day? (The FLOWER GIRL looks up at the sky which is quite overcast. Thinking him undoubtedly mad, she hurries on)
When she mentioned how her aunt bit off the spoon, She completely done me in. And my heart went on a journey to the moon, When she told about her father and the gin. And I never saw a more enchanting farce, Than the moment when she shouted “move your bloomin'” • • •
MRS. PEARCE (Opens the door) Yes, sir?
FREDDY Is Miss Doolittle at home?
MRS. PEARCE Who shall I say is calling?
FREDDY Freddy Eynsford Hill. If she doesn’t remember me, tell her I’m the chap who was sniggering at her.
MRS. PEARCE (Looking at him strangely) Yes, sir.
FREDDY And would you give her these? (Hands her the nosegay)
MRS. PEARCE Yes, sir. (She takes them and moves quickly to get the door between her and this odd young man)
FREDDY You needn’t rush. (Gazing lovingly down the street) I want to drink: in this street where she lives.
Prof. Zolton Karpathy
KARPATHY MONOLOGUE – HUNGARIAN DIALECT
Professor Higgins, you remember me? I am your pupil, your first, best and greatest pupil. I am zoltan Karpathy; that marvellous boy. I have made your name famous throughout Europe. You teach me phonetics. You cannot forget me. The Queen of Transylvania is here this evening. I am indispensable to her at these international parties. I speak thirty-two languages. I know everyone in Europe. No impostor escape my detection. And now, Professor, you must introduce me to this glorious creature you escort this evening. She fascinate everyone.
Bartender, Harry, Jamie & other Cockney characters
Cockney Characters reading 1
ANOTHER BYSTANDER What’s the row?
A HOXTON MAN What’s all the bloomin’ noise?
A SELSEY MAN There’s a tee takin’ her down.
ELIZA, (Crying wildly-to PICKERING) Oh, sir, don’t let him charge me! You dunno wh~t it means to me. They’ll take away my character and drive me on the streets for speakin’ to gentlemen.
JAMIE You got a good heart, Alfie, but if you want that half a crown from Eliza, you better have a good story to go with it.
ELIZA (Taking a coin from her basket, flipping it in air and catching it) Well, I had a bit of luck meself tonight. So here. (Gives him coin)
HARRY (Jubilantly calls into pub) George! Three glorious beers I
MRS. HOPKINS How’d ya like that? Knocked me fer a row of pins, it did.
GEORGE (GEORGE, the bartender, forcibly evicts HARRY and JAMIE and then calls into the pub) Come on, Doolittle. Out you go. Hop it now. I ain’t runnin’ no charity bazaar.
DOOLITTLE (Coming from the pub) Thanks for your hospitality, George. Send •••
GEORGE Yes, I know. Send the bill to Buckingham Palace. (He goes back into the pub)
MRS. HOPKINS You can buy your own drinks now, Alfie Doolittle. Fallen into a tub of butter, you have.
DOOLITTLE What tub of butter?
MRS. HOPKINS Your daughter, Eliza. Oh, you’re a lucky man, Alfie Doolittle.
DOOLITTLE What are you talkin’ about? What about Eliza?
Various Servants, Maids, Stewards, and posh minor characters and bystanders Etc.