The bald Soprano – Guinness World Record Attempt

A Theatrical Special Event

In November, SPP and Rosebud Astral will be presenting a joint theatrical event not to be missed. To mark our new merged theater group, we are presenting one very special play and only one performance…. but there’s a kicker. The one performance goes for 30 hours and this is an officially recognized Guinness World record attempt for the world’s longest play. Imagine being able to tell your family and friends that you are a Guinness World record holder!

Tickets now on sale!

PERFORMING 3-4 November 2018

Production Team

Director: Brendan Croft
Production Coordinator: Gabe Noonan
Stage Manager: Jacqui Hilton


Sarah Jeffs – Mrs. Smith/Martin
Robe lister – Mr. Smith/Martin
Lisa Johnson – Mrs. Martin/Smith
Simon Coles – Mr. Martin/Smith
Sam Noonan – Fire Chief
Aimme-Ellar Bye – Mary


The play begins with the Smiths sitting around in their living room talking about a lot of nothing. Mrs. Smith recounts to her husband all the things that have happened that evening, even though he was there. Next they discuss a family in which everyone is named Bobby Watson. The Smiths seem to forget from moment to moment whether a certain Bobby Watson is alive or dead.

The Smith’s maid, Mary, arrives and announces that the Martins are waiting outside. Mr. and Mrs. Smith hurry upstairs to change clothes. Mary shows the Martins into the living room, yells at them for being late, and then exits. It turns out that the Martins don’t remember each other even though they apparently live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, and traveled on the same train together. Eventually, through an extended process of elimination they decide that they must be a married couple. Of course, Mary blows a hole in their theory. She tells the audience that, in fact, the Martins’ reasoning is faulty, and that they aren’t who they think they are at all.

The Smiths eventually rejoin their guests. The two couples sit around talking about unremarkable events, like the fact that Mrs. Martin saw a man tying his shoe. They all are amazed at this “fantastic” story. Eventually, the Fire Chief arrives. He’s come to see if there is a fire in the house and is very depressed to find out there isn’t one. Since he’s apparently got nothing better to do, he settles in and shares some weird fables. Mary, the maid, busts in and tries to share some stories of her own. The Fire Chief suddenly recognizes Mary – she was his first love. The Smiths are very offended that Mary, the lowly maid, would want to share stories. They push her offstage as she recites a poem dedicated to the Fire Chief.

The Fire Chief takes his leave, saying that there’s a fire across town that he must see to. After he leaves, the play goes totally haywire. The characters start spewing totally random non-sequiturs, clichés, and mutilated aphorisms. Eventually, the lights go out and we hear them screaming, “It’s not that way, it’s over here!” over and over again in the darkness (564). When the lights come back up, the Martins are in the same positions the Smiths were in at the beginning of the play. The curtain fall as the play begins again with the Martins saying the same lines that the Smiths did in the first scene.


Mr. Smith

A stuffy, boring middle-class Englishman. Very one-dimensional, talks in cliches and makes dull observations. Unlike Mr. Martin, he loves to disagree with his wife. His genericness makes him an everyman. At the end of the play, he changes roles with Mr. Martin.

Mrs. Smith

A talkative woman who goes on and on about what she ate, a parody of English bourgeois like her husband- talking in cliches, repetitive dialogue, constant bickering, and non-sequiturs. At the end of the play, she swaps roles with Mrs. Martin.

Mr. Martin

More accomplished and developed than Mr. Smith, as he can remember his wife, but he is essentially the same person as they trade places at the end of the play.

Mrs. Martin

Counterpart to Mrs. Smith, and wife of Mr. Martin, a more opinionated character, who may not be a deep thinker but has more to say than the other four main characters. Trades places with Mrs. Smith at the end of the play.


The pushy maid character, as seen in many of Ionesco’s plays. She works for the Smiths. She had a past relationship with the Fire Chief.

Fire Chief

Appears randomly to put out a non-existent fire. The most developed character, but the smallest role, the Fire Chief is the male lover/hero character in this play.

More information about the Bald Soprano –